I used to joke that “I don’t make friends, my friends make me.” Meaning, anyone who wanted me could most definitely have me.

At that time, I had never built relationships by choice. I’d just cling to the first shoppers that came shuffling down my quiet little aisle. Desperate to be kept, I’d laugh at garbage jokes. I’d change my way of speaking and rationalize mistreatment. Every attempt to self-alchemize demanded its own chunk of flesh. And I was committed to feeding it. I knew I was having a terrible time, but I’d think to myself, “Whatever, man, who cares. You should just be happy to be here.”

happy to be here feels like a time capsule to me. I wrote the first songs for this project - coast and mavis beacon - in 2023. The last - so skinny i could die - was written in 2025. My life felt so strange for a lot of that time. I was barely making music. I’d just emerged from an emotionally abusive relationship. Shortly after, I realized I was actually lesbian and not bi. (“damn, double homicide.”) Then the elections happened and Serena Williams started selling Ozempic, and I said yeahhh get me off this funky ass planet. This project is a reflection on (most of, lol) that and more.

From childhood, I learned to adapt to a world that told me my body and mind were worthless as they were. I learned that constant change and the pursuit of love were my only escapes. This EP sits with the many outcomes of living life that way. Some songs are daydreamy, crush-obsessed fantasies (similar to what you would’ve found on my chunky childhood computer). Other songs hold the shame and mess that comes up in the silence. They are exposed confessionals where I’m processing my choices and what I’ve lost.

Musically, this project is a collage of many different parts of me. My inner 2000s emo kid refusing to go unheard. Strange beats from college that I thought would die on my hard drive. Crunchy demos sung in the shower that I believed could become something, but wasn’t sure how to make them something. I’m glad I believed in all of those bits and bobs. And I’m so grateful to everyone who believed in them, too.

Thank you to my family, friends, and mentors: Ruby, Nancy, Kai, Connie, Lolia, Ash, Bria, Dani, Felix, and Melissa. I love y’all! Your care, enthusiastic support, and encouragement (no matter how small or long ago) have meant the world to me.

Thank you to the cmntx team, but especially Dan, for your kindness, all the silly studio chats, and your musical brilliance.

Thank you, Seb, for the absolute sauce, your patience, and encouragement. It really means a lot.

Love to everyone else who contributed their musicianship to this project.

I’m in a very different place nowadays. I want to be more than happy to be here. I hope you find resonance, a reflection, a melody, or some other gift in this EP that you can take with you.

Thanks for listening <3

–binti (sarian sankoh)